As many women in their 20′s do, I was thinking about marriage (and divorce). The funny part is that I am NOT in a relationship (or even a semi-relationship) and marriage is not a priority. Yet, I was thinking about marriage. Partially thanks to my sister, who was talking about “when I get married you and (another of our sisters) will be my maids of honor.” Seriously, I do not want to be shackled with this curse burden undertaking-of-epic-proportions-where-I-would-have-to-cater-to-her-every-whim-ugh gift. But, how horrible of a sister would I be to tell her that and ruin her fantasy about the big day and the even bigger party.

Another reason I was thinking about marriage, or rather divorce, is another celebrity couple is divorcing. I will not name them because truly, if you look at this 6 months from when I originally post it, another celebrity couple will be announcing that they are divorcing. Divorces seem to come a dime a dozen. Getting a divorce seems to be done almost as casually as going to the grocer and getting some food for your empty/semi-empty fridge. Marriage means so little that divorces are rampant, yet gays are disallowed from getting married and me, a straight woman, can meet any Tom, Dick, or Harry off of the street and marry him for less than $50, some time and some paper work.

People behave as though they don’t promise, some version of “for better, for worse … til death do us part.” It is like, the entire marriage idea is just a fun, idealistic phrasing of words that get casually slung around  and lack meaning. Getting divorced is almost as easy to get as married and people seem to lack the stick-with-it-tude of past eras. It’s almost like marriage a waste of time.

On that note, why the hell do people marry? Is it just so that they can get divorced? People declare their undying, unconditional love for each other and less than a decade later they’re ready to be rid of said future-ex-husband/wife. I do not think that every married couple should stay married but 50% is kind of high for people who swore lifelong fealty to and love of another person. Plus, they are contractually obligated to be with, and love each other, then they muck it up. It is 10-times worse when there are children involved, particularly when the children are small!

Yet, people still marry, knowing that after the party they have a 50-50 chance of failing. Ironically, I think I would, happily get married, at some point. Granted, (IF I ever meet a guy that I wanted to be contractually beholden to love unconditionally,) I would hold off on marriage, as a social and political stance against America disallowing gays from marriage – talk about  infringing upon inalienable rights. Of which, how can the government continue to bar two consenting adults from their chance of lifelong fealty to one another? (This irks me, royally!)

Nevertheless, at some point, I think I would willingly sign a contract, have a big party, swear before a higher power, my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparent, trillion-and-a-half cousins, and the random neighbor that someone will invite for the hell of it, that I would be this other human’s one.

I would do it (I think) and divorce would not be an option. In my mind there is no reason good enough for me to say I want to rip a person out of my life, who I swore that I love, and who I said I want to be my next-of-kin, short of abuse towards me (or my future-imaginary-non-existent-children). Moreover, if the relationship got so tumultuous that we no longer wanted to be together, we would have to work something out. It would be unorthodox and entail a lot of counseling, communicating, and cognac (not really on the cognac but I find it amusing). We would be single but married. Marry ME, you are shackled with me for life! *evil laugh*

Now, riddle me this: Would you get married? What exactly does marriage mean to you? Would you get divorced? What does divorce mean to you? Under what circumstances would divorce be an option? Have you even thought of this stuff? I need answers, from men and women!

not a real organization

This may be long because I want to be sure that I give you as many ideas, as specifically, as I can.

Good ideas to write more:

1. Ask a question in the document and answer it.
2. Research one more article/chapter/book and incorporate one or two ideas from this.
3. Look at the articles that you reference, if they ask any questions related to the purpose of your document, attempt to answer the questions.
4. Ask yourself: “What else can I say?”
5. Try to be as wordy as possible.
6. Have 3-5 ideas that you would like to remark upon.
   • For each thing that you want to remark upon have 3 things that support or are related to the remarks. This will create the basic 1-2 page paper that consists of 3-5 paragraph, with introductions, 3 supporting statements and conclusive statements for each paragraph. Also you should include a final paragraph that summarizes the key point from each of the previous paragraphs, with a conclusive statement for the whole document. (If I’m being lazy I’ll take the conclusive statements and summarize each of those.)

Also, in the same vein, a great thing to do is to have an outline such as:

1. Paragraph 1 (This paragraph could summarize what the paper is about/what the purpose for writing it is; sort of like the abstract of a journal article. You can make this 5 sentences and in the same format as the bullet below. Each “support sentence” would be a brief introduction to each of the “Ideas” that the paragraphs are about. Also, the “Conclusion statement/sentence” in this paragraph can be a brief synopsis of the paper; this is called a thesis statement, it is often one of the last things you write; since, by the end of the document you should have one cohesive message and be able to state it succinctly. You can also replicate this sentence at the end of the document, so that you bring the document to a succinct close.)
2. Support Paragraph 2/Idea 1 (which was mentioned in the introductory paragraph)
   1. Introductory statement (this should introduce the idea that you are going to support)
   2. Support Sentence/Idea 1
   3. Support Sentence/Idea 2
   4. Support Sentence/Idea 3 (you can have more than 3 support sentences/ideas but you should not have fewer than 3. Each of these ideas should provide further support to corroborate the points of the paragraph)
   5. Conclusion Statement (this could/should provide a summary of the paragraph; it can also, simultaneously, be a way to segue into the next paragraph)
   6. Support Paragraph 3-??/Idea 2-?? …
   7. Conclusive/Summary/Future Ideas/Et Cetera Paragraph (this is a good paragraph to summarize your arguments, provide a conclusion, provide suggestions for the future and, even, ask questions that you did not answer but may be good for future exploration)

This is all about pre-planning. Pull out the ideas that you want to argue for/against or present in the document. Create an outline of each of these ideas and at least 3 supportive ideas. Write the introductory paragraph with each of the support ideas being briefly mentioned. Write each support paragraphs in the standard paragraph format. Write the conclusive paragraph. Create a works cited/references page; include any graphs, charts, etc. as appendices.

If you feel like you do not have enough after doing this, go back and add one more idea; ask a question in the document and answer it; research one more article/chapter/book and incorporate one or two ideas from this; Look at the articles that you reference, if they ask any questions related to the purpose of your document, attempt to answer the questions. REMEMBER: Anything that you add has to be able to flow with the document; so place it accordingly, and if you cannot place it, attempt to segue into it, before the conclusion paragraph.

I hope this is some help, to someone out there … besides me!

It means that, today is the day for all of us in the world to become knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS, to consider (maybe) activism around prevention and treatment, and at the very least, recognize that there is a pandemic of this disease and it is wiping people off the map – throughout the skin color spectrum; though it’s concentrated in the Dark to light Brown spectrum.

On my Facebook, I asked, “Do you remember the last time you were tested? Do you want to do something to promote treatment & prevention? Do you care?” And the one response I received, thus far, pointed to the seeming hopelessness of preventative work due to intravenous drug users and abusers being irresponsible. The logic went, there are drug users who share needles, HIV/AIDS is not only passed through sexual contact (it’s contracted through bodily fluids e.g., semen, vaginal secretions, breast milk, blood), and because the drug users will share needles they will pass HIV/AIDS to other intravenous drug users; thus making prevention impossible. This stance seems pretty bleak and hopeless to me.

Personally, I think there is hope. I think programs that swap needles and that teach kids and adults about condom useage, are imperative to working on declining the number of HIV/AIDS cases.

In a country that values appearing perfect and, thus, values and places a premium on dishonesty; is it possible to address the HIV/AIDS problem effectively? Is it possible to prevent HIV/AIDS? Is it possible to truly treat and PREVENT HIV/AIDS, globally? Have we exhausted the list of prevention options? What about treatment? What are the options for treatment?

Are people still dying from HIV/AIDS like they were in the 80′s? The 90′s? What can a person expect their life to be like if they find out they are HIV positive? What is the likelihood of HIV progressing to AIDS with anti-retroviral medicines available?
How does a person cope, once they find out they have HIV/AIDS? What about people with the disease? Do they tell their friends & family? Is that too private an issue for everyone to know your status? What can we do to make discussing this normal and not taboo?

Clearly, I have tons of questions. What are some possible answers? What are some questions that I haven’t asked? What do you all think?

***To Side note an equally important and different topic: Today is the 55th anniversary of Rosa Parks refusing to move from her seat on the bus! A move which struck a match to start the Montgomery Bus Boycott and edge along Civil Rights. Yay! Although, I will admit; my grandmother told me that she refused to get up from her seat before Rosa Parks did; and some of us know that a 16/17 year old refused to move from her seat before Rosa Parks, also, but she was not as sociopolitically astute nor was she in the same position as Civil Rights Activist, Rosa Parks. Mrs. Parks the was the secretary for one of the MAJOR Civil Rights organizations. Do you know which one?? I do .

Nevertheless, this day is a very, sociopolitically and historically, important day for this reason alone!

Such as, today, December 1, is World AIDS Day. Check out the Blog on it!

We don’t talk about how hating on someone is having malice towards them. We don’t discuss how when it’s focused towards Black women, it’s almost always literally saying “I hate Black women.” We don’t discuss how this is used to pull that “hated” person down into the dumps and away from positive feelings about beliefs about themselves.

Black women are AMAZING. Whether they’re poor or wealthy; thick, thin or fat; educated or uneducated; bourgeois or ghetto; wives or jump offs; doctors, lawyers, nurses, artists, cashiers or stay at home moms, Black women are AWESOME!

I read a statistic recently, “85 cents of every $1 spent by Blacks last year was spent at the influence of black females.” That means that Black women are 85% of the multi-billion dollar buying power of the Black community! We’re AMAZING. We have untapped potential and people can’t stop hating us. And this hate is not helping us grow or motivating us.

Black men and far too many Black women are trying to force the multitudes of Black women to believe that they are not good enough. I’m tired of it! My brothas and sistas, why do you hate yourself so much that when you see a reflection of yourself you can’t take a breath, bite your tongue, and hold back the disgusting hatred?

What happened to ‘Black Power’? What happened to ‘Black is Beautiful’? And I don’t just mean skin color; I mean that the whole spectrum of Black people is amazing. I know that everyone has not been taught that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. So, Black women are better with Black men or at least a group of people who support their confidence. CONFIDENT Black women are even better! The Black community is complex and often troubled. Black women make it work with that they have. One way to bring up the Black community is to bring up Black women (this can be discussed ad infinitum). Start loving and supporting Black women!

There would be no Martin without Coretta, no Malcolm without Betty, no Barack without Michelle. You know the saying: Behind every strong Black man, there is a stronger Black woman. It’s time that we all embodied this; that we all understand that none of us with be worth the air that we breathe without the influence of a Black woman.

Start complimenting Black women on simple things: her pretty smile, beautiful skin, intelligence, sense of humor, or even her nice sense of style. Anything helps! Maybe go out, today, in your city and pull up one Black woman.

Matter of fact, I’m challenging everyone to compliment at least one Black woman today and keep it moving; then compliment a different one tomorrow and keep it moving. I’m challenging all of you people who don’t have anything nice to say about Black women to practice restraint, keep the negativity to yourself (and STFU) OR do something to help, with kid hands and the care, empathy, and loving compassion, that you would want someone to address you with; especially if it is about a difficult and/or emotional subject.

I’m human, so as I try to totally embody this, I’ll slip up and it’s okay if you do too; just, don’t spiral all of the way down into the ‘I hate Black women pit.’

What do you all think? Do you think that the upsurge of Black women bashing is hatred or something else? Do you think helping the confidence of Black women will help the Black community or is it something else? If you will, how will you help pull up Black women? Can you help a sista out? Will you start the love? Am I asking too much?

The Black vote alone did not get President Obama into his presidency. His presidency is not the cure all to ALL of the problems within the Black community; if anything it’s a highlight to how screwed up the Black community really is i.e. Look at people who believe that because the President of the United States is African American he should put an unnecessary focus on African Americans and African American issues.

President Barack Obama’s JOB as President is to sign CONSITUTIONALLY sound bills into law. The President CANNOT directly introduce legislation (which then becomes bills which ultimately become laws). Could you imagine what our country would be like if ANY President had that power? Maybe he should legislate for laws that will be racially biased for the Black community … wait – that’s UNCONSTITUTIONAL! Maybe, instead, it would be beneficial to the Black community if he funneled $10 billion of mystery money into it – but where would it go? Aren’t there Black communities in most cities in most states – which city, state, town would get what? What would this mystery money do? Who would manage it? How will this mystery money create jobs for the, as you cited, 15.6% of unemployed Black people? How will it teach Black people to get their OWN instead of relying on someone else to spoon feed them?

How about, instead of alluding that he has done nothing, acknowledge the FACT that President Obama has allocated a large portion of the budget to funds for the Small Business Administration (SBA); of which the majority of those employed in this country are employed through small businesses; there has been expansion in small business development through the SBA; the SBA provides loans, counseling and other support for people who want to start their own business; AND they ESPECIALLY provide help and support to Minorities (Black people) and women (think: Black women) who want to start businesses.

If Black people want to have a healthy community & curtail some of our unemployment AND, simultaneously, help with our health care quandaries, why not start businesses in the Black community which could employ some of those 15.6% of unemployed people? Maybe, and it pi$$es me off to say it … if enough Black people considered their options more seriously, were a bit inventive and stop waiting for a handout ( ) our community would and could improve. Maybe, if those of us with degrees, lived in Black communities, shopped in Black communities and chose to patron Black owned businesses (exclusively) the infrastructure of our communities would change. It is NOT Barack Obama’s JOB to fund the current lack of ingenuity and inventiveness that is widespread.

It is OUR job to pull up our community. To go to the SBA, start businesses, and invest in OUR community. It’s not our President’s JOB to do ALL of the thinking for US. Geez!

So, of course, he had a response; basically saying that the SBA has no oversight and that President Obama should green light funds specifically for the African American Community.

We can always continue to scapegoat President Obama; there is a lack of complete, effective & efficient oversight, non-educated Black people have a significantly higher unemployment rate than other groups of people in this country, educated Black people have a significantly higher unemployment than other equally educated & qualified Whites and all of this is his fault?

Unemployment for Black people has ALWAYS (as far as I know) been significantly higher than that for White people; it should not be a HUGE shock that it is STILL significantly higher. You mentioned systemic racism; THAT is the reason for excesses in Black unemployment – NOT Obama or his legislating or lack thereof.

Maybe President Obama should fine the SBA for having ambiguous definitions of Small Business (i.e. defining it based on industry or revenue or company size depending on XYZ factor). Maybe he is working on something and we are just having this argument for nothing because 15.6% unemployment in ANY community should be unacceptable?

I’m will never say that everything that’s happening in his presidency is all great or that the oversight issues are acceptable and especially not that the unemployment level for Black people is fine. I am saying that EVERYTHING is not his fault and if the Black community actually want to improve it is OUR JOB to do it; not the President’s.

And … even with clearly great points of argument on all sides of any political argument … it still comes down to: What can actually be done? What can President Obama, legally & constitutionally, DO that will make Black unemployment echo that of White unemployment?

***

BTW if you were the CEO, COO, or CFO of Xerox, Lockheed Martin or Boeing you would greatly appreciate the opportunity presented by the SBA, with their ambiguous definitions of small business, to fund whatever aspect of your business that they are getting funded.

It’s not Obama’s fault that we are a capitalistic society and that business owners & management are opportunists.

No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Isn’t banning gay marriage a deprivation of life, liberty, AND property? I am completely and utterly confused. How is it legal for a state to do something to its citizens that is unconstitutional? If bans on gay marriage are acceptable, why don’t states just start enslaving African Americans again? It’s free labor.

That’s a rhetorical question. Please, States of the United States, PLEASE, do not enslave African Americans again … I couldn’t take working in a field, picking fruit or any other purposes that may be thought up!

Anyway … my point is:

I have an idea to fix this whole gay marriage ban issue … but I do not want to exploit gay people for a cause. But, I’m going to let my plan out either way.

I think it’d be a good idea to organize a group of gay people who want to marry, in all of the states with bans on marriage to go to their state marriage licensing boards place to get licenses to marry in their states. If/when they are disallowed have them, they sue their states & the U.S.A. for violating their 14^th Amendment rights (Equal Protection of the law and Due Process) in a class action lawsuit. All they’d need is a lawyer who’d take the case!

Good idea? Yes? No? Maybe?

I don’t understand … explain this to me, make my liberal mind understand what is happening. Why won’t you go away?

You quit your job as the governor of the state of Alaska so that you could write a book and go on a public relations press junket to get bigots saps conservatives to buy said book, right? Am I wrong or was your family not a part of your excuse for quitting your job as governor of Alaska? Didn’t you quit so that you and your family could have some privacy? Talking to Oprah is definitely not going to get you guys’ privacy.

Here are a few more questions for ya: Weren’t you supposed to be a maverick, railing against the “liberal media?” Talking to Oprah is definitely not railing against the liberal media. FYI she supported the guy you were running against! You know him, he’s our 44^th President.

Why aren’t you doing something Mavericky (insert folksy wink here) like actually doing things that would benefit the country, your family, your state; maybe talk about the importance of teenagers having sex education so that they don’t end up unwed mothers with baby-daddies who pose in PlayGirl? But you don’t agree with sex education or birth control or really anything that will benefit the greater good of women, right?

Why aren’t you doing anything besides sitting down on Oprah’s couch to promote a book? A book about being a Maverick, no? Oh, it’s about “Going Rogue” … you went rogue alright … You quit your job to promote a book!

Seriously, lady! Why won’t you just go away?!

So I ask … How is your family? How are they progressing? Is your sitting down with Oprah or  any other talk show host/hostess helping your family’s progression? Oh, I know, you get the benefit of speaking some vile bile to other “conservatives” and you get to have a big payday or two, do a few public speaking events and get paid heftily, have a book about how the campaign with John McCain effected your family, and it looks like it will sell decently too … as a matter of fact that is more than a big payday or two.

I think I may understand why you won’t go away. And maybe you shouldn’t go away. Maybe you should stay around to solidify to the understanding and knowledgeable why they did not vote for the McCain/Palin ticket and to scare the life out of those who did. You should definitely stay around because Lord only knows we need another asinine thing to distract us from the War, horrendous job prospects, health care (despite the bill that passed that promotes health care for most people), and the litany of other much more important things that are not you “Going Rogue” or being a Maverick or any other euphemism for being an independent and thinking woman, which in my opinion you cannot be with your stance on social and political topics.

Everything in me wants to tell you to go away, again. But, your media presence has given me something to blog about today. So, good luck talking with the liberal media, putting your family in the public eye (again) and being a Maverick Rogue.

Peace, Love & now … I’m going away from this keyboard.

I’ll just give you a run-down (if you want to see the pictures click the link.)

1. Tokyo
2. Los Angeles
3. New York
4. Washington D.C.
5. Paris
6. San Francisco
7. London
8. Las Vegas
9. London
10. Baltimore

I’ll just say it: if life were a movie it would suck to live in the United States. Although they chose Tokyo as the number one spot, what does Godzilla have on every potential natural disaster that destroys LA, NYC, San Francisco, Washington D.C., and basically any large city in the US.

I’d say that England comes in second. Do you really want the zombies from 28 days later chasing you?

Question: Am I the only person to notice this: You have to be in good running condition to live in a movie. Shia LaBeouf ran about one mile dragging Megan Fox in a war zone between the Transformers & the US Military! And the zombies in 28 weeks later chased the main character into the water and were still trying to get him as his motor boat chopped them into pieces.

I’m just saying … you can’t be fat and live in a movie! You’ll be the second person to die (after the All-American, African American football player and his hot African American cheerleader girlfriend – think Scream).

That’s my opinion about something, for the day. What do you think? What city would you not want to live in, if your life were a movie? What city do you not want to live in, without your life being a movie? What do you think about all of the movies without fat people where everyone gets killed?