To Wed (Divorce), or Not To Wed (Divorce) …
July 27, 2011
As many women in their 20’s do, I was thinking about marriage (and divorce). The funny part is that I am NOT in a relationship (or even a semi-relationship) and marriage is not a priority. Yet, I was thinking about marriage. Partially thanks to my sister, who was talking about “when I get married you and (another of our sisters) will be my maids of honor.” Seriously, I do not want to be shackled with this curse burden undertaking-of-epic-proportions-where-I-would-have-to-cater-to-her-every-whim-ugh gift. But, how horrible of a sister would I be to tell her that and ruin her fantasy about the big day and the even bigger party.
Another reason I was thinking about marriage, or rather divorce, is another celebrity couple is divorcing. I will not name them because truly, if you look at this 6 months from when I originally post it, another celebrity couple will be announcing that they are divorcing. Divorces seem to come a dime a dozen. Getting a divorce seems to be done almost as casually as going to the grocer and getting some food for your empty/semi-empty fridge. Marriage means so little that divorces are rampant, yet gays are disallowed from getting married and me, a straight woman, can meet any Tom, Dick, or Harry off of the street and marry him for less than $50, some time and some paper work.
People behave as though they don’t promise, some version of “for better, for worse … til death do us part.” It is like, the entire marriage idea is just a fun, idealistic phrasing of words that get casually slung around and lack meaning. Getting divorced is almost as easy to get as married and people seem to lack the stick-with-it-tude of past eras. It’s almost like marriage a waste of time.
On that note, why the hell do people marry? Is it just so that they can get divorced? People declare their undying, unconditional love for each other and less than a decade later they’re ready to be rid of said future-ex-husband/wife. I do not think that every married couple should stay married but 50% is kind of high for people who swore lifelong fealty to and love of another person. Plus, they are contractually obligated to be with, and love each other, then they muck it up. It is 10-times worse when there are children involved, particularly when the children are small!
Yet, people still marry, knowing that after the party they have a 50-50 chance of failing. Ironically, I think I would, happily get married, at some point. Granted, (IF I ever meet a guy that I wanted to be contractually beholden to love unconditionally,) I would hold off on marriage, as a social and political stance against America disallowing gays from marriage – talk about infringing upon inalienable rights. Of which, how can the government continue to bar two consenting adults from their chance of lifelong fealty to one another? (This irks me, royally!)
Nevertheless, at some point, I think I would willingly sign a contract, have a big party, swear before a higher power, my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparent, trillion-and-a-half cousins, and the random neighbor that someone will invite for the hell of it, that I would be this other human’s one.
I would do it (I think) and divorce would not be an option. In my mind there is no reason good enough for me to say I want to rip a person out of my life, who I swore that I love, and who I said I want to be my next-of-kin, short of abuse towards me (or my future-imaginary-non-existent-children). Moreover, if the relationship got so tumultuous that we no longer wanted to be together, we would have to work something out. It would be unorthodox and entail a lot of counseling, communicating, and cognac (not really on the cognac but I find it amusing). We would be single but married. Marry ME, you are shackled with me for life! *evil laugh*
Now, riddle me this: Would you get married? What exactly does marriage mean to you? Would you get divorced? What does divorce mean to you? Under what circumstances would divorce be an option? Have you even thought of this stuff? I need answers, from men and women!
