Pass the Superficial

July 17, 2011

Initially, my idea was to write about “getting past the superficial when I (you/we) like everything else about a person but the package.” Yet, as I thought about it more and more, I came to the realization that I am shallow. So, whenever I get over my shallowness, I’ll write that blog. In the meantime, I need to sink into the realization that the external package matters to me. Sadly, it matters enough that I have willingly passed up riveting conversation to look a handsome man in the face while he talked about nothing … literally.
 
Now, if I were honest with myself I’d admit that good, riveting, enthralling conversation is a much bigger turn-on than good looks. Yet, I’m still shallow as a brook, and simultaneous deeper than … well … the ocean. I cannot tolerate the idea of me being in a real relationship with someone that I am just moderately attracted to because he has good-convo nor can I be in a relationship with someone who is astronomically beautiful but dumber than whatever is dumber than a box of rocks. 
 
With all of this said, I’ll tell you a “story.” I was recently conversing with this guy, with his dazzling, sparkling eyes that took his attractiveness up 5 notches, but he lacked a great deal of intellectual acumen. He was fun to talk to, a great distraction. But, he would text message me in horridly spelled “English” and expect me to know what he meant then liken it to him being from another region (the Midwest). 
 
DUDE! I’m from freakin’ Ohio, that’s the Midwest too; as a matter of fact, my family is from Alabama and Georgia, I understand slang and the different ways that people from different regions speak. You, my dear, just do not make sense.
 
To be fair, I didn’t actually say this but this is what I thought as he would spin these metaphors that made no sense and blame their nonsensical nature on other things. Yet, he was attractive (those dazzling eyes were awesome) and usually fun to talk to. So, I continued to converse with him. (Sidenote: Thank heavens he didn’t say “conversate,” I abhor that ‘word.’) Then, after maybe 3 weeks max of regular/semi-regular conversations, he says he wants to be in a relationship with me.
 
Really? Me? I’m shallow. I’m finicky. I nitpick. And I’m shallow. Why would you want to be in a relationship with me? Why is a few weeks conversation enough for you to know that you want to be my beau? 
 
Okay, I know that shallow is mentioned twice and finicky and nitpicking may as well be the same thing. Further, those aren’t really good reasons for him to not want to be in a relationship with me since I am beautiful, have a sense of humor, intelligent, kind, open, and an all around great person. 
 
So, what’d I do? Not something to prove that I’m an “all around great person.”
 
I suddenly became very busy … busy not answering his text messages or calls. I know, I know, I should have been more mature and told him straight out that I did not want him to be my beau or I only want to be friends, as soon as he threw out the whole ‘more to the relationship’ type stuff. But, I didn’t. Thankfully, I didn’t string him along for too long (it was maybe a couple of days). I told him that I wanted to be friends AKA I don’t think I can be in a relationship with you because I’m too superficial to pass up on some things for the possibility of greater things.
 
Now, I don’t think I’ll be alone forever or anything dire like that because I’m particular. Yet, as long as I’m seeking I’d like to get past the superficial but all I’m thinking is ‘it ain’t gonna happen.’ Instead, I’m just going to say, whoever deals with me, at some point, is going to get served a meal with a side of superficial.
 
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